So my scan had the best possible outcome- The mystery mass disappeared! They had two people ultrasound me just to make sure and it was all good. Apparently it left as quickly as it'd arrived. A giant sigh of relief. I must say though, I was rather calm for me... I calmly sat in the waiting room of women only (awaiting their mammograms I assume based on chatter and their entry into door 1 instead of door 2, I enjoyed two shortbread cookies from the elegant cookie display, looked at a magazine for home DIY projects that I'll never do but think I will; Yes, I did well. I did eat an entire pint of ice cream to myself last night... But apart from the initial scare and shock of "what-if" on Tuesday, I was rather cool about it. Well done me.
Tomorrow I have my pre-op appointment for next Thursday's carpel tunnel surgery and then I will have completed a medical visit for every day m-f this week! That's me done. Thing's are looking up! Perhaps I can move past my doom and gloom that I've been in the last couple of weeks. I now look forward to foster-adoption someday and have again come back to surrendering myself to divine plans rather than my own (which is sometimes so darn hard!).
Tom on the other hand, is at his sorrowful stage. Today he said he wished he lived closer to family and his brothers (which I wish we weren't so isolated as well), then he said he "wants his mummy and daddy" and said he doesn't think people know how hard it is. To which I said, of course they know how hard it is, but he has me here and they have other very important things to tend to and it's just how it is, but by no means does absence equal minimization of his situation. He then acknowledged that he knows that, but I know he wants to be closer and feel more tended to. Poor guy. He asked what happens if a match isn't found and he said I can't contest with it not being possible and then (probably the worst bit of today) he said "of he doesn't have long he wants to spend it with his family." Again, he said I can't contest because I can't say for certain... What does a person do with that?
It also doesn't help that he said those latter things after I returned from the caregiver's support group where two of the patient's were on a second and third transplant. BUT they were not leukemia patients and the previous transplants were autologous (from themselves) and were both doing allogeneic (donor) ones this time. So it doesn't really apply to Tom, but it does make me wonder how often leukemia patients have to transplant more than once. But I'm not goin to dwell, I'm goin to keep things positive because I can't worry about the unknown... Now how to convince my husband to do the same.
No comments:
Post a Comment