When he's at home and feeling good, it's so easy to forget that he has this very serious disease. Obviously, things are very real and serious when he's hospitalized, but when he's home and feeling good, it really is easy to sometimes forget. Maybe the more correct word is ignore. We've both said it and maybe that's what makes it so easy, is that we both get into this easy going routine of normality, especially when we have a few days off from doctor visits.
I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. I mean, it isn't really denial is it? I know that he has leukemia, I know that he has to get a bone marrow transplant, and I know that he is still susceptible to terrible infections and that he will have some rough patches ahead; BUT when he's home and feeling good, I think it's important that we both get a break from the stressful moments of reality and we both get a chance to feel happy and unburdened temporarily. Yeah, that's my justification. We shouldn't have to be constantly reminded of what a crap situation this is... Because it isn't all terrible.
For one, we are so lucky that I am able to have this time off and when he's feeling good, God is it wonderful to spend time with my husband. Likewise, when he feels his worst, it's so wonderful that I can be there for him... Even if there isn't much I can do, at least I'm not at work somewhere worrying and feeling completely worthless.
In other news, brother two was finally able to get his typing test done to see if he's a marrow match. Today Tom is having a bond marrow biopsy to see if he's in remission or not, so fingers and toes crossed. God we really need this to come back with him in remission, quite seriously.
Anyhow, that's all she wrote.
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