Things to be Thankful For

This week is Thanksgiving and while I feel there is one large thing that I feel I should be rather unthankful for... in the spirit of the holiday, I should reflect on the things I am thankful for.

Things I'm thankful for:

• Our incredibly loving and supportive group of family and friends.
• Our parents whom do everything they can to help us out as much as possible.
• My family for coming down and making Thanksgiving dinner for us.
• My incredibly awesome neighbors, who have been taking care of Izzy for us so that I don't have to drive back and forth to let her out.
• Our awesome friends who spent two hours sorting out their son's legos, so that Tom could have the requested black and grey ones.
• A reliable and somewhat gas efficient car to drive the over 1,000 miles that I've driven in just the past two weeks!!!!!!
• My grandmother who sends me surprises in the mail, like books on dog psychology and wonderful Starbucks cards.
• The "girl time" I was able to have last week, a lovely day at the museum!
• The fact that we live in Northern California, which is a wonderful place to be if you're in the position we are... as far as healthcare.  I am so grateful/thankful that science has come so far and that there isn't just one place, but a few that are cutting edge and capable to ensure that my husband is going to make it through this.
• I am thankful that I work (or worked, rather) for Starbucks and because of that, I am enjoying a delicious cup of Thanksgiving blend brewed from the Family Room at the hospital... it's delicious.
• I am also thankful that this company (Starbucks) gave me lots of stock over the years and it's helped us quite a bit: a couple years ago it paid for our wedding, last year it paid for our move, this year it's going to help us through this awful time. Thank you Starbucks!
• I am thankful that this hospital has a "family room" in the bone marrow transplant ward, where we can store and cook food to make it feel more like home... and get out of his hospital room.

I am sure that I could go on and on, but the point is: Even when things seem super awful, there are ten times more things to be thankful for... and that's what we should celebrate.

PS. Originally I was going to write a long complaining blog about my terrible moody self... and then I wrote this and taught myself a little lesson in the works... SO I'm also going to use this as a post on the Leukemia Log... because I think it may be of assistance to other's who feel bitter about Tom's condition during this Holiday Season. Go Forth and BE MERRY (and Thankful)!

Murphy's Law... A blessing or a curse?

Every time that my husband has been through hell and back with some infection or another, it never fails that right as we get over it and he gets sent home- is when someone is due for a visit.  Now, on the one hand, they're here and he's feeling good and can enjoy their company.  On the other hand, they tend to leave when he's just due back in for chemo or whatever and we're back to being alone and him feeling sick and miserable and me running back and forth, etc.  Luckily, my mom is now coming down to stay with us a couple of days a week to make this easier while we're on our own during this several week hospital stay (have I mentioned the hospital is 30 min away?).  SO thankful she's able to do that!

I'm exhausted.  Completely and utterly exhausted.  I don't even have to do much, today I just took my dog out for a walk down some trails for an hour or so and then spent several hours hunting down a lego kit my husband requested.  That's it. Though Tom is done with his chemo, he's feeling rather sick still- particularly when aromatic (warm) food is presented in the room, no bueno.

He's sick and tired of being in the hospital so much, understandably as he's been hospitalized more than he's been home since diagnosed.  I'm sick of him being in the hospital! I feel so terrible for him.  He feels so robbed and cheated and all I can do is really hope... and I mean really hope that this chemo has put him into remission and that we can go ahead with a biopsy and he'll be good forever.  However there's always the daunting thought that it won't turn out that way and the even worse thought that I know he's constantly thinking of that. 

He's currently attempting to eat the dinner they've prepared for him, though he says he's having to literally force everything down... and it's true, because I'm witnessing the physical forcing.  Just wish there was something I could do to make this so much easier for him...

Daylight Savings Time and Bread Thieves

Aren't the days supposed to be getting shorter and shorter? I feel like they are doing the exact opposite.  Especially with it getting dark so early, those last few hours of the day just drag.  This chemo regimen has been particularly rough on my poor hubby... he finds himself easily nauseated and frequently sick... which makes it a lot more difficult to be up and around or doing anything interactively. Nonetheless, I'm here to be supportive and loving and make him feel better (if there is anyway of doing that). 

I thought one way to make things easier, would be to make some foods and take other food items in and store them in the family room so they could be readily available.  That said... I just went in to possibly come up with some sort of plan for a meal... and the brand new loaf of bread that I marked with our names-was gone.  Now, I know it's a loaf of bread... but if you're packing up your stuff to go home, wouldn't you make sure that all of the items you grabbed actually had your name on it? Apparently not and now we're out of a loaf of bread.

Bit of a downer... no big deal that my $4 loaf of bread is no more.  I had also made a batch of chocolate chip cookies and left some for whomever (in the family room), I can only assume that since they were gone.... either A. I make tastier cookies than I thought  or   B. Bread thief stole my cookies too.


Happy Saturday.